Fatherhood and Sharing Life Lessons 

On August 30, 2020 my life changed forever. I became part of special group, a club that in all honesty I never understood. I became a father. If you don’t have any children of your own, let me save you some time. It’s all true. Every little cliché thing you’ve heard about kids is fact. You don’t sleep, stress mounts on you and your partner, and at the same time you love every bit of it. When that little person looks you in the eye and gives you a smile full of gums, everything melts away.

Before Sonny was born, I envisioned the perfect relationship. He would nap when it was time to nap. He wouldn’t be able to sleep through the night initial, but after 3-months I would have my eight hours of sleep again. It was all planned. However, to quote Mike Tyson, “Everyone has a plan, until they get punched in the face”. It was NOT what I had in mind.

The silver lining is that I found out how well I can operate on little to no sleep. Two months after bringing Sonny home, I attended Yoga Teacher Training and since then, the teachings I received have helped me upgrade my father game in the following ways:

On Letting Go

Through my practice, I have learned the freedom that comes with letting go.  From The Bhagavad Gita, “You have a right to perform your prescribed duties, but you are not entitled to the fruits of your actions.” This resonates with me while trying to rock my son to sleep in hopes that he will take a nap. I have no control over whether he does or does not. Just being able to have a child and rock him is in itself a gift. Looking at fatherhood through this lens enables me to be more present for my son.  

In tandem with the letting go, I realized that I have to figure this whole fatherhood thing out on my own. Blaze my own path when it comes to raising my son. I don’t have stick with ideals or preconceptions on what a father is. “Right” for my family is going to look different than the next. So, I shouldn’t concern myself with how things look like from the outside.

On Health

What used to be about aesthetics and performance is now how health and longevity. My physical practice off and on the mat enables my body to keep up with my son. To put it short, life is easier when you’re strong and in good health.

Additionally, Yoga has shown me the importance of just moving in a way that feels good. Being in good health also allows me to play. Whether it’s playing with new sequence or swinging on monkey bars. Yoga reminds me that just doing is a gift, and there doesn’t need to be a point or outcome to it.

On Nurturing

I believe that my son’s purpose is already within him. I cannot place it on him and force him to pursue what I want, just like I can’t ask an apple tree to bare an orange. My job is to nurture his growth and expose him to as much cool shit as I can to help him realize that purpose. Like a farmer allows water to run into a field by removing obstacles and grooving channels, my job is to simply enable the flow of light that is already within him.

What I hope to pass

• Practice – Specifically, practice with intention. Not just in yoga, but in life. People are rarely blessed with amazing abilities. Bob Ross didn’t just pick up a paint brush and become Bob Ross. It takes years on practice to attain mastery at anything. Don’t let the journey discourage you, remember just doing is a gift.
• Shine – We all have a fire within us. It is our duty to let it resonate and share it with the world. Do what you need to stoke the fire to keep the light bright and never dim it because of someone else
• Love – For others and your Self. If you cannot love another person, at the very least understand them. Each of us has our own story which causes us to see the world differently. When you can love, dare to love fully. Things rarely work out when they are half-assed. When it comes to your Self, remember that the love the we project to others is only as good as the love we give ourselves.

Luis Murillo, VETOGA 200 hr Yoga Teacher You can find him on at Instagram @beandoesstuff. Luis is also PN Level 1 Certified, loves cooking, yoga, sharing lessons learned, and spreading good vibes! He is offering a 30-Days of Mediation, so check out his bio on Instagram for the link.